How I learned I wasn't mySelf.
Submitted on Sat, 11/10/2007 - 17:48 — Julie_Thompson
Journaling is something foreign to me. I think the last time I truly kept anything close to a journal was in Grade 1 when we wrote down our activities for the previous day and drew a picture to go above it.
Later on, I attempted to start a diary, but that maybe lasted 2 days. Let's just say, I'm more of a talker. Anyways, the journaling exercise we did in class was like nothing I had ever done before.
First, it forced me to do something I am really not used to, act without thinking. I am so used to judging myself that I didn't think it was possible for me to write something without mulling over it first, but to my surprise, it was and is very possible. I have even started to use a similar technique as brainstorming for my thesis.
Second, and I think most important was the fact that I realized I am not my Self... and by that I mean that I am not the person that I truly want to be... and I don't really think I will be truly happy until I become whoever that is. Its not to say that I am not happy with who I am right now, BUT the exercise made me realize that there is a huge difference between the self I am today and the ideal FUTURE self that I envision. There are things I want out of life that at this moment I have not achieved, which to some may seem like a negative thing, but for me its inspiring.
And now that I realize what I expect from mySelf, I can work towards leaving the old me behind and get closer to achieving that ideal picture of my future Self in all that I do.
Oh yeah and the other thing this exercise reminded me of was the movie I heart Huckabees... "how am i not myself?"